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You’re free to love who you want to love without feeling any guilt for it. Black gay men should be afforded those same opportunities. For decades, we’ve had to create our own norms and definitions of how we wanted to live. If the gay community is known for anything, it’s subverting societal expectations. That pride is innate and doesn’t evaporate because you’re not sleeping next to a black man every night.
It’s possible to love a white or Hispanic man and still be proud of being black. There’s tremendous pressure to show your black pride not just in where you shop or what you watch or listen to but also in who you date. #Blacklove is a viral social media sensation.
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We grew up seeing movies and TV shows with black couples.
But there are many more men like him who have a self-imposed guilt or feel the pressure from others to date within their race.Įven though gay relationships are relatively foreign territory in the black community, gay black men are still expected to adhere to racial norms. He eventually learned to accept his attraction to non-black men, which was the main subject of his essay. It seemed like a rejection of them and that went against the pride he felt about his culture. He started dating Hispanic men and initially felt guilty about it because he thought it negatively affected other black men. However, as he dated, he found himself rejected by hypermasculine black men because he loved Beyoncé and publicly declared it on his Instagram page. They’d form a bond through their shared experiences. He dreamed of a relationship with someone who understood his blackness without explanation. He details how he grew up wanting to be in love with another black man. Michael Arceneaux explored this topic in 2015 for the Washington Post. However, there’s a perception that you can’t possibly be proud of being black if you don’t date black. Now more than ever, being black is about being proud and expressing that to everyone around you. The best albums of 2016 encouraged us to take A Seat at the Table and sip some LEMONADE. Black Lives Matter is a thriving protest movement against police brutality. In these turbulent political times where many are calling the election of Donald Trump a “whitelash”, black pride is important. Even though we’re just searching for love and happiness, we’re still saddled with a sense of guilt once we find it. The gay ones get the brunt of that resentment, too. The sentiment isn’t just reserved for straight black men. To this day, black women lament that they’re losing all the good black men to white women. In 1995’s chick flick classic Waiting to Exhale, Angela Basset’s Bernadine fumed when her husband left her for a white woman.
Spike Lee’s Jungle Fever showed the complexities of interracial love back in 1991. Long before researchers started digging into data on gay interracial relationships, there was social commentary.