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Others yet have symbols that support them in drug/alcohol recovery, that remind them to use their program and cognitive tools to cope with triggers or relapse risk just by seeing the visual cue of their tatt on their body. Others have adopted the “toxic” symbol as way of defying their HIV diagnosis, and signaling to others that they will not be silenced in a stigma about HIV status. Another had a couple of symbols that reminded him of his own strength, resilience, and triumph over an abusive past. Another client had various initials of people who were key in his life. One client described very eloquently how the black tribal symbol design made him feel at one with the HIV community after his diagnosis, and it was part of his coping with that, that felt positive and encouraging. With clients, there have been similar stories about how their personal values have then been represented graphically in their tattoo design. The dragons face each other in a mirror image because that also represents “self-reflection”, which is symbolic of what I do as a therapist, to help people self-reflect on themselves and decide what changes in their thinking, outlook, and behavior will make their lives better. It also has some tribal elements, and a Libra symbol in my favorite color, blue.
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My second one, a few years later, was of two dragons that face each other, because my husband and I were both born in the Year of the Dragon (1964) in the Chinese zodiac. It ended up looking also like a nautical star, that gives direction and guidance. I thought about this, and designed a tattoo that combined the symbols of some of the major religions/cultures of the world: a cross, a yin-yang, a Star of David, and the sun (for paganism). At the time of the Iraq war, Bill Clinton said that we need to focus on our similarities, rather than our differences. So I wanted a tattoo because I thought they looked hot but also for their meaning. Getting older helped me to do more of that, because the people I care about deserve our attention and intervention. I got into counseling and therapy during the height of the AIDS crisis, because I wanted to speak up and help out. After my “turning 40” crisis, which I admit I had like so many other guys, I lost some inhibitions about a lot of things, especially my opinions. I guess straight people and lesbians also have meaningful tattoos, but since my practice focuses on gay men’s needs, I hear about tattoos in that context. They start talking about when they got them, and the emotional attachment they have to what feelings, experiences, and values their tattoos mean to them, and it becomes relevant to their therapy for whatever we are working on, such as self-esteem, relationships, philosophical/existential “outlook” on life, and dreams/goals. Their tattoos become topics of conversation, especially in summer months when guys are wearing short-sleeves, tank-tops, or shorts. When I first opened my private practice in psychotherapy (and later added services in life/business coaching), I wouldn’t have predicted that, but I learned things over time about the feelings that so many guys share in common. In my private practice as a psychotherapist who specializes in working with gay men, it was a surprise to me when several years into my practice I noticed a pattern that gay men like to talk about how the tattoos they have hold special, even profound meaning for them. (This model is not necessarily gay, but gay men can imbue their tattoos with great meaning.)